


wandering hearts

by junyeonbug



Series: soulmates [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Backstory, Friendzone, Jealousy, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Red String of Fate, Spies & Secret Agents, almost everyone are still assholes, mark is the only happy thing in here, relationships characters and tags will be updated as the fic goes on so keep a lookout, this entire fic is angst tbh, yuwoo are just idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28920171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junyeonbug/pseuds/junyeonbug
Summary: "You'll wait for me?""Of course I'll wait for you. After all you've done for me, it's the least I can do for you."At that time, Yuta thought it was so simple. Just him, Jungwoo, and the two of them slowly inching towards a proper relationship. But as Yuta gradually peels off Jungwoo’s protective walls and uncovers secrets he had managed to conceal away carefully, and with the combination of old, lingering feelings that keep tugging at their hearts, they realise that waiting for each other would be the least of their problems.*please read beginning notes!
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Moon Taeil, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: soulmates [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121105
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a sequel to my previous fic, [tangled hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16639331/chapters/39010277)! i strongly encourage you to read that before reading this as this fic is going to follow very closely to the events that occurred there, so you might be quite confused if you only read the sequel but not the prequel. (even if you read it before, reading it again would be nice to refresh your memory hehe)
> 
> with that, let's begin :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's known Jungwoo for more than two years now, but the man never fails to find new ways to surprise him.

After barely dodging a flying clove of garlic headed in the direction of his head, Yuta sighed in defeat and took a step back, taking a moment to admire the state that his kitchen had been reduced to.

This happened because of the courtesy of Taeyong’s _brilliant_ idea to cook their own dinner instead of always eating out, and Doyoung’s inability to say no to his beloved boyfriend. Yuta's kitchen became the test lab after he gracefully lost to Taeil and Taeyong in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors.

And with the fact that their only ray of hope was sitting at the dining table, peacefully watching the chaos unfold in front of him with no intention to intervene, Yuta had lost all hope that their experiment would succeed.

“Aren’t you going to do anything about this?” Yuta slid into the chair beside Doyoung.

“Taeyong told me he would do everything today and I could just sit back and relax,” Doyoung shrugged. “Not that I actually believe him, but if it makes him happy.”

“And of course you listen to everything he says,” Yuta attempted teasing him a little, “we love a whipped boyfriend.”

“If they fuck up and burn the place down, remember that it’s _your_ kitchen, not mine,” Doyoung sneered back. “Besides, if I don’t let him do what he wants, he’ll sulk for the whole day, and I have better things to do than tend to a sulking Taeyong.”

Yuta chuckled softly, remembering the countless times Taeyong didn’t have his way and how Doyoung had to abolish his tsundere image to literally smother him with affection the whole day until he stopped sulking. 

“There’s Taeil. Jungwoo told me he can cook, like, a little, so I’m putting my trust in h-”

Just as Yuta was about to finish his sentence, loud oil splatters were heard and a terrified Taeil sprung out of the kitchen, a spatula in one hand and a frightened Sicheng clinging on to his other arm.

“I think you might want to take that back,” Doyoung laughed at the way Yuta's expression drained into one of pure fear. 

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Taeil used his free hand to stroke Sicheng’s head and the latter shook his head happily, beaming at his boyfriend.

“I’m fine, but you, please be careful,” a pout formed on Sicheng’s lips. Taeil just ruffled Sicheng’s hair in response before planting a kiss on his bangs, before they returned into the kitchen.

Yuta wasn’t aware that he was staring at the two of them until Doyoung nudged his side.

“Yuta.”

Although Doyoung just called his name, Yuta could already tell what message he was trying to convey. The tone of his voice was a strange mixture of warning, disappointment and sympathy, but Yuta understood it and just sighed as an acknowledgement. 

“I know,” he smiled weakly, and Doyoung just squeezed his wrist as a sign of comfort.

“Yuta!!” A familiar, high-pitched, child-like voice floated from the kitchen, snapping the called man out of his thoughts. Jungwoo appeared in front of him a few moments later, his hands hanging limply in front of him like a puppy.

“Can you help me move my hair out of my face? My hands are oily,” Jungwoo frowned and lifted his hands, “and I can’t see.”

Trying to suppress a grin at his cuteness, Yuta took out a hairband from one of the drawers and slotted it on Jungwoo’s head, sweeping his long bangs away from his eyes. “Perhaps you should go and cut your hair instead,” Yuta smiled warmly, giving the hairband a small pat.

“No. I like it like this,” Jungwoo mirrored the smile before lightly bumping the top of his head against Yuta’s cheek. “Thank you, Yuta.”

As Jungwoo scurried back to the kitchen, Yuta still watching him fondly, a smirk crept onto Doyoung’s lips. He snapped a finger in front of his face to get his attention, “how’s things going with him?”

“What things? With who?” Yuta feigned oblivion, purposefully not meeting Doyoung’s gaze.

Doyoung dramatically rolled his eyes, making Yuta tsk in annoyance. “Don’t pretend. Any progress with you and Jungwoo? It’s been, what, two years already.” 

“We’re the same,” Yuta stated bluntly. “We’re happy with what we are right now, and we’re trying not to… rush anything. So I guess there’s no reason for us to progress into anything.”

Doyoung nodded understandably, leaning back onto his chair. “Okay. As long as the both of you are happy.”

At Doyoung’s words, Yuta’s gaze unknowingly drifted back to Jungwoo. He looked adorable with his new hairdo, curiously poking at the pancake-like substance that Taeyong had poured onto a frying pan. Taeil passed him the spatula to flip the pancake, and to Yuta’s surprise, Jungwoo managed to keep it in one piece-

-except that the underside was charred completely black.

“You know what!” Taeyong announced confidently, while the other three just stared blankly at the unidentifiable black substance. “I think we should just order takeout. What do you think, Doyoung?”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you from the start,” Doyoung muttered under his breath as Yuta tried to stifle his laughter. “Yes, sweetie, I think that’s a _great_ idea!”

“How does it feel like raising a child as your boyfriend?” Yuta pointed a fake mic to Doyoung’s mouth. The latter just rolled his eyes again as he stood up, but the smile creeping onto his lips told a different story.

“He’s lucky I love him.”

* * *

“Thanks for lending us your kitchen today, Yuta. Sorry we made a mess,” Sicheng smiled sheepishly as he made his way to the front door. They ended up abandoning their experiment in Yuta’s sink and ordered delivery chicken and beer instead.

“Yeah, and have fun cleaning up,” Taeyong snickered, childishly sticking out his tongue at the house’s owner.

Shooing all of them out of the door, Yuta grumbled sarcastically, “thanks for messing up my kitchen and leaving me to clean up alone! Your contribution is greatly appreciated!”

“It’s not our fault that you absolutely suck at rock, paper, scissors,” Doyoung deadpanned, escaping Yuta’s wrath and hi-fiving his boyfriend.

Doyoung and Taeyong went off first, bidding the rest goodbye as they used the stairs to get to their unit just below Yuta’s. Sicheng and Taeil were putting on their shoes, just about to leave as well, but Jungwoo stood silently beside Yuta, as if he wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

“Jungwoo? You coming?” Taeil looked up at him, and as expected, he simply shook his head.

“You go ahead first. I’ll help Yuta with the dishes,” Jungwoo gestured to the mountain of dirty plates stacked in Yuta’s sink. “I’ll see you at home.”

Taeil just nodded, like he had already predicted that Jungwoo wouldn’t be coming. Waving goodbye to each other one last time, Sicheng and Taeil disappeared into the elevator, and it was just the two of them left.

“Honestly, you just wanted to make use of my Netflix to watch movies, right?” Yuta predicted and Jungwoo scoffed, faking hurt as he put a hand on his chest.

“What do you think of me? Of _course_ I’m here to help you with the dishes...” Jungwoo retreated back into the apartment, waited for Yuta to close the door before inching closer to him. 

“... _And_ to use your Netflix to watch a movie with you.”

Mumbling an _‘I knew it’_ under his breath, Yuta shoved Jungwoo away before making his way to the sink, hearing the man’s cute chuckles echoing behind him.

They did end up cleaning up and watching a movie together. Well, more like Yuta watched the movie alone, as Jungwoo spent twenty minutes choosing one but fell dead asleep against his arm within five minutes.

“Jungwoo, wake up,” Yuta wriggled his arm when the credits rolled onto the screen, eliciting a sleepy groan from the younger man. Jungwoo sat up for a second to grab the remote and turn the television off, before retreating back to the same position as before.

Yuta shifted his gaze to the man using his arm as a pillow, and the serene look on his face made him look so comfortable that Yuta didn’t have the heart to shake him off again.

“Hey, are you free tomorrow?” Yuta asked softly, “there’s this new exhibition that I want to go to, will you go with me?” 

Jungwoo made a sound of disapproval, mumbling almost incoherently, “I can’t, I have work.”

“Huh? I thought you were unemployed.”

Jungwoo seemed to buffer for a few seconds before he shot out of his seat, all sleepiness drained from his face and replaced with a shocked and surprised expression.

“What did I just say?”

“You said you had _work_ ,” Yuta eyed him suspiciously, cocking an eyebrow at the sudden change of his mood. “Since when did you get a job? You didn’t tell me.”

Panic seemed to flash through Jungwoo’s eyes for a second, and his mouth hung open in a failed attempt to form a reply to Yuta’s question. With every second that passed and Jungwoo still hadn’t said anything, Yuta’s suspicion just grew, until finally, Jungwoo took a deep breath and returned Yuta’s gaze, a nervous and unsure grin pursed on his lips.

“I guess it’s about time,” he stated dubiously. “Do you want to follow me to work tomorrow?”

Yuta just blinked in confusion, figurative question marks popping up beside his head. 

_“What?”_

“Okay. I’ll come over tomorrow afternoon and bring you there,” Jungwoo decided, grabbed his phone from the table and started making his way out of Yuta’s apartment.

“Wait- Jungwoo??” Yuta blocked Jungwoo’s way out before he could advance further. “Can you tell me what’s going on? You actually have a job, and you’re bringing _me_ there?”

Jungwoo nodded unhesitatingly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Is tomorrow ‘bring your friend to work’ day or something? How come I didn’t know of this at all?” Yuta started to get creeped out by Jungwoo’s nonchalance. “Jungwoo, what _do_ you work as?”

Instead of getting a proper answer, Jungwoo just leaned in and whispered into his ear.

_“You’ll find out tomorrow.”_

And with that, he patted Yuta’s shoulder and slipped past him, out of the apartment, leaving Yuta standing there with a million questions and an unexplainable unnerving feeling.

* * *

As much as Yuta didn’t want to admit it, he ended up not being able to sleep that night due to Jungwoo’s words.

He wasn’t sure if he was more hurt that Jungwoo had kept this secret from him, scared of Jungwoo’s strange behavioural changes after he had unknowingly told Yuta about it, or nervous that he would be visiting Jungwoo’s workplace the next day.

Either way, he couldn’t sleep.

 _‘Why do you look so tired?’_ were Jungwoo’s first words to him the moment Yuta opened the door for him the next day.

“I was up watching a drama,” he tried giving an excuse, and was proud of himself at how easily Jungwoo had bought it.

“You ready?” The creepy smile found its way back to Jungwoo’s lips, and Yuta swallowed the ball of nerves in his throat before chuckling nervously.

“Do I have an option to say no?”

“No. Let’s go,” Jungwoo didn’t wait for Yuta to step out of his apartment before making his way to the elevator, ignoring Yuta’s calls for him to slow down.

“What are you in such a rush for?” Yuta panted as he finally caught up with Jungwoo, who still had that stupid, bone-chilling smile plastered on his face.

“I told you, I have work,” Jungwoo answered helpfully. “You wouldn’t want to be late to your job, would you?”

Mentally cursing the other in his head, Yuta tried to get more information out of Jungwoo on their way there, but gave up after all he received were more dubious answers or just no response at all. After a long bus ride and a ten-minute walk, Yuta found himself in the middle of a maze of factories, and was starting to believe that Jungwoo was going to abduct him.

They ended up in front of a plain-looking, almost rundown building. It looked like how any factory would look like- a security guard post situated beside big, tall and spiky gates, industrial-sized lorries parked in a corner of the vast carpark, muscular men loading and unloading gigantic cardboard boxes, and of course, an enormous cargo lift in the middle of everything.

“Jungwoo? You work _here_?”

Of course, Yuta’s question went unanswered. Jungwoo’s response was walking straight towards the cargo lift and simply closing the doors once the both of them were in. He beckoned Yuta over to the elevator buttons with a small, excited smile. Curious as to why Jungwoo suddenly appeared so eager, Yuta watched Jungwoo’s actions intently.

What happened next was so far from what Yuta had expected that it made his jaw hang open in shock.

Jungwoo positioned his left pinky on a small black box beside the elevator buttons, which was what Yuta assumed to be a scanner. The scanner emitted some red light that detected Jungwoo’s string, and as if his string was a barcode, the box made a small _‘beep’_ sound, and a button that Yuta didn’t even know existed suddenly lit up. The elevator groaned, and started its descent.

At this point, Yuta was outright panicking. In contrast to his fear, Jungwoo was calmly leaning against the wall, watching the level number slowly decrease from one, zero, negative one, negative two…

“Jungwoo, what’s going on?”

Jungwoo must’ve finally pitied the way Yuta’s voice was shaking so terribly as he shifted over to Yuta’s side, wrapped a hand around his wrist, and replied to him gently.

“Trust me, Yuta.”

Just as Yuta was about to use this opportunity to ask more questions, the number hit negative five and the lift dinged, before the doors slid open.

Bracing himself, Yuta held his breath and slowly looked outside, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him.

Printed on the wall just outside the lift were the words _‘The Vision’_ , accompanied with a logo of a red string in the shape of a heart. By the side, in smaller font, read _‘a confidential agency for observers to work together to relieve the world of soulmate crises’_.

Yuta was unable to peel his eyes away from the sight before him, his jaw still hanging open, barely managing to process the next words that Jungwoo said to him.

“Welcome, Yuta. This is where I work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty short since it's just the intro chapter :) updates will be posted once a week! what do you think jungwoo does in this agency?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting a hyperactive kid and the world's gentlest boss while snuggled in a fluffy beanbag wasn't exactly Yuta's idea of a typical secret agency.

Yuta’s gaze slowly panned towards Jungwoo, its intensity nearly boring holes through Jungwoo’s face. He didn’t seem to be fazed one tiny bit, instead stifling a chuckle while pointing at Yuta’s hilarious expression.

“You should really see your face right now,” Jungwoo teased, imitating Yuta’s expression by widening his eyes and opening his mouth. In normal circumstances, Yuta would’ve already elbowed Jungwoo’s stomach by now to get him to stop, but too many thoughts were spiralling in Yuta’s mind to even process that Jungwoo was making fun of him at the moment.

“Wait. Hold on a minute, I think I need a moment, oh my god,” Yuta furrowed his eyebrows and pointed at the words printed on the wall. “ _ ‘Relieve the world of soulmate crises’ _ ? How the fuck does that even work?”

“Would you care to go inside with me first? I promise I’ll explain everything to you,” Jungwoo smiled, tapping the word  _ ‘confidential’ _ to emphasise his point.

Yuta nervously dragged his feet toward the entrance of the office, where Jungwoo was already standing by. He repeated the process of placing his pinky at another box, scanning his string, hearing a lock click before pushing the tinted glass doors open.

Taking small and wary footsteps, Yuta walked through the door that Jungwoo held open for him. Maybe the words  _ ‘confidential agency’ _ made Yuta think that the place would be mysterious, dark and shady, because when he gave his surroundings a once-over, he was mildly disappointed.

The place looked nothing different from his own workplace.

Jungwoo raised an eyebrow at Yuta’s fallen face and immediately understood what he was thinking. “If you expected a secret agency to have those walls with like, fifty computer screens and confidential files strewn all over the place, then I’m afraid you’ve watched too many dramas.”

Yuta just rolled his eyes at Jungwoo, who seemed to find joy in imitating Yuta as he rolled them back more fervently, before he took the lead and walked down the long corridor. 

Trailing slowly behind Jungwoo, Yuta’s pupils darted all over the place to take in his surroundings. Frankly, there was nothing much to take in besides the occasional door that they walked past, each of them with a window coated with tinted glass and a slot that Yuta presumed was for a name plate, which were unfortunately all empty. The walls were a plain white, with several minimalistic photo frames containing abstract art hanging here and there. They also passed by one or two interior plants before Jungwoo came to an abrupt halt, causing Yuta’s head to collide with his.

Jungwoo didn’t seem to be affected by the collision, in contrast to Yuta who grumbled about why he suddenly stopped walking and rubbed his forehead painfully. The door that they had stopped in front of looked exactly the same as the others, and the only difference Yuta could spot was the presence of Jungwoo’s name plate slotted on the door.

From the corner of his eye, Yuta noticed another door with a name plate and a colourful dream catcher hanging below it. A glow of light shone from the window, suggesting that someone was present, but Yuta didn’t question it as he obediently followed him into his office.

After Jungwoo had switched on the lights and brightened their environment, the corners of Yuta’s lips curved into a smile at the heart-warming sight in front of him.

Hanging above Jungwoo’s desk was a string of fairy lights, illuminating the wall of photos and polaroids that Jungwoo had pasted all over, in a messy but aesthetic manner. Yuta could see pictures of Jungwoo with all his friends- Doyoung, Taeil, Yuta himself, the six of them- but the one who was present in majority of his pictures was a kid who uncannily resembled Jungwoo. A CD player was situated beside the picture wall, some American artist’s CD fitted into the slot, waiting to be spun. 

Jungwoo’s desk itself was pretty minimal. Sitting beside the huge desktop was a row of miniature figurines and a jar of sweets. Some stationery rested in a translucent case by the desk lamp that was clipped onto the side of the desk.

The only somewhat ‘messy’ area was the enormous bookshelf leaning against the wall beside his desk. Yuta scanned the contents, which were all sorted according to year, and was surprised to see some box files that were dated back nine years ago. 

_ Had Jungwoo been working here for that long? _

The final section, where Jungwoo was currently resting, was a carpeted area filled with monochrome beanbags and pillows. Several plushies were scattered around the area, and a glass table that had boxes of neatly-arranged snacks sat in the middle of the section. 

Briefly forgetting that he was currently in a secret agent’s headquarters, Yuta made himself comfortable by grabbing a penguin plushie and sinking into one of the beanbags, soaking in the warmness and coziness of Jungwoo’s office.

“You like it?” Jungwoo softly broke the silence, “Mark and I only decorated this place recently. He said he couldn’t stand me having nothing but one desk and one computer in this entire office.”

Yuta nodded distractedly, before an unfamiliar word in his sentence captured his attention.

“Who’s Mark?”

Before Jungwoo had a chance to reply, the door flung open and a skinny kid threw himself onto Jungwoo, tackling the defenseless man to the floor.

“Hyung! You didn’t tell me you were coming today!” The kid tightly wrapped his arms around Jungwoo, whose expression suggested that he was way too used to this chaotic situation.

“When will you ever learn to knock before entering?” Jungwoo sighed as he pried the kid’s arms off him and ruffled his hair violently, making space for him on his beanbag.

“Knock? Never heard of her,” Mark got up from his seat to grab a packet of cookies from the table, and that’s when he finally noticed Yuta’s presence.

The two of them stared wide-eyed at each other for a good five seconds, before Jungwoo broke the ice between them by standing up and clapping his hands together.

“Yuta, this is my baby cousin who also works here, Mark.”

_ Ah, the one with the dream catcher on his door and the kid who appeared in most of Jungwoo’s pictures. _

“So you’re  _ the _ Yuta!” Mark gasped dramatically, the packet of cookies falling to the floor. “Oh dude, Jungwoo hyung has told me  _ so _ much about you.”

“Mark,” Jungwoo replied hastily, concealing the panic in his voice with a stern tone. “Yuta is very much older than you, I’m pretty sure it’s not polite to call him ‘dude’.”

“Sorry. Yuta hyung,” Mark corrected himself, bowing his head in apology.

“It’s fine,” Yuta smiled warmly, picking up the fallen packet and handing it back to him. “Though, could you please elaborate on what you said, Mark? What did Jungwoo tell you about me?”

The mischievous glint in Mark’s eyes instantly returned and he almost jumped out of his seat in excitement, a knowing smirk dancing on his lips.

“Oh dude, he-”

“Anyway,” Jungwoo cleared his throat loudly, interrupting Mark’s sentence. “Don’t you want to know more about this place, Yuta?”

Yuta met Mark’s gaze and shot him a look that read  _ ‘we’ll come back to you later’ _ . “Yes, please tell me what the hell you do here and why this place looks more comfortable than my own office.”

“Basically, our job here is to go on missions every now and then to ‘fix’ relationship problems that are caused by  _ this _ ,” Jungwoo raised his pinky and tugged on his short string to make his point clear. “There are three actions that we do- cut, retie and supply. Most of the time, our missions only involve one or two of these actions.”

Yuta’s eyebrows were raised so high that they disappeared behind his fringe. “That’s… a thing?”

“Yeah. In fact, it’s a very big thing. There are branches of The Vision worldwide, and this is just one branch of the many out there.” 

Yuta’s jaw dropped at Jungwoo’s revelation. “Wait, so this means-” His head whipped towards Mark’s direction, and the kid froze with a cookie hanging from his mouth, like a deer caught in headlights. “Mark, you can see the strings too?”

Gradually resuming his chewing, Mark nodded in confirmation.

“Everyone here can see the strings, Yuta, it’s a requirement to join this agency,” Jungwoo clarified gently. “And by everyone here, I mean only Mark, Kun and myself. There aren’t many observers in this world to begin with, but we’re always prepared for more.”

Yuta nodded haltingly, trying to wrap his head around this matter.  _ So that explained all the empty rooms that they walked past on their way here. _ “And Kun is…?”

“Our boss,” Mark offered helpfully, chewing a mouthful of cookies.

“That’s right,” Jungwoo brushed away the stray crumbs that Mark managed to get on his cheek. “Kun’s originally from the China branch, but he came to Korea because of his soulmate and set up the agency here.”

“I’m still kind of… lost?” Yuta puckered his face in confusion. “How does this work exactly? How do you know who’s suffering from soulmate problems and how do you go about meddling with their strings?”

“I wanna answer this!” Mark raised his hand enthusiastically, straightening his back like a model student. “So, uh, it starts off with the head office? God knows where that is, but they’re the ones sending the names of our targets to Boss Kun. Don’t ask how they manage to pick out and identify these people in the first place, none of us, not even Boss, knows how they do it.”

“Then it’s Boss’s job to research and find out the problems they’re facing by spying on them, analysing their lifestyle, just a bunch of complicated secret agent stuff,” Mark dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “When he’s collected enough information, Boss then assigns us missions by providing us with the necessary details and instructions. After that, it’s really up to us on how we choose to execute it. Boss doesn’t really care how we do it, as long as we get the job done while keeping our identity a secret.”

“Wow, that’s... cool,” Mark’s explanation didn’t satisfy all of Yuta’s curiosity, but since the boy looked so proud of himself, Yuta humoured him with a thankful smile.

“You’ll see what he means later,” Jungwoo saw through Yuta's facade. “Kun will be coming to assign me a mission any time soon, and you can follow me to see what it's all about.”

Yuta nodded gratefully, the bundle of nerves slowly returning at the thought of getting himself involved in this sketchy mess. He cast a glance at Jungwoo, who was currently nagging Mark about the amount of crumbs he managed to spill everywhere, and wondered how many missions did Jungwoo go on for him to seem so indifferent to all of this.

A sharp knock on the door startled Yuta out of his thoughts, and he braced himself for a scary-looking, big and burly man with his arms covered in tattoos to walk through the door.

“See,  _ that's _ the proper way to enter someone's room, Mark,” Jungwoo scowled at the boy who was pretending not to listen. “Come in, Kun.”

_ Maybe I've really been watching too many dramas, _ Yuta thought as the man that stepped into the room was a complete opposite of what Yuta had expected him to look like.

In one word, Kun looked gentle. His features were soft but defined, and he gave off the same calm energy as Jungwoo, minus the creepy part. His blonde hair was neatly swept up, and with the simple white T-shirt, jeans and sneakers he was sporting, he looked more like a celebrity, rather than the boss of a secret agency.

“Oh? Who’s this?” Kun’s eyes fell on Yuta the moment he entered the office. Unlike what Yuta had expected, yet again, Kun didn’t seem to be the least bit suspicious of the unfamiliar man who had infiltrated his headquarters and made himself at home on Jungwoo’s beanbag without his knowledge at all.

“I’m… I’m Yuta, Jungwoo’s friend,” Yuta mentally cursed at how small and squeaky his voice sounded.

“Oh, Yuta!” A warm grin immediately bloomed on Kun’s face, the welcoming tone of his voice sounding as if he had known Yuta for years. “You’re finally here. Jungwoo’s told me a lot about you.”

Eying Jungwoo suspiciously, Yuta found him squirming nervously on his seat, avoiding Yuta’s gaze. “What do you go around telling people about me?”

“So. What kind of case is it today, Kun?” Jungwoo turned a deaf ear to Yuta’s question, focusing all his attention on his boss.

“Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon. They’ve been together for five years, but Jihoon still won’t accept their relationship,” Kun sighed exasperatedly, passing the file in his hands to Jungwoo. “I swear, the head office needs to stop sending me these kinds of cases. It was so frustrating to watch them.”

“Ah, a classic,” Jungwoo flipped open the file and Mark hopped beside him, excitedly peering over his shoulder.

“They look good together,” he pointed at what Yuta presumed to be their pictures, though his comment went unheard by his cousin who diligently studied the contents of the file.

“Wait, did you say  _ five years _ ? That’s one hell of a long time.”

“Exactly. Because of this, Soonyoung’s been quite distant from him lately. I think the end of his patience is nearing, so we have to do something quickly.”

Jungwoo nodded heavily, resuming his reading. “I’m presuming it’s a cut and retie? Since it says here that both of them are currently connected to their soulmates.”

“That’s right. The hook is enclosed in there, and you can use your own scissors,” Kun confirmed.

“Alright,” Jungwoo hummed monotonously, flipped a few pages and dragged his finger along the paper. “ _ ‘Monday to Friday, 1835 to 1910, Line 1 Guro station to Line 1 Dongdaemun station’. _ I should go for that, right?”

“Yes. Be careful, it’s peak hour and there will be a lot of people on the train,” Kun warned, but Jungwoo dismissed him with a smile.

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing I haven’t done before,” Jungwoo rose from his seat and walked over to his desk, grabbed the palm-sized scissors from the stationery case and tucked it into his pocket. He reached into the file and pulled out a small red hook, the size of a toothpick, and that joined the scissors in his pocket. 

“Hyung, you’re going already?” Mark frowned, springing over to Jungwoo and hugging his arm. 

“You can follow me another day, Markie,” Jungwoo patted him softly on his head. “Since Yuta’s our guest today, I’ll go with him this time, okay?”

Dejectedly sinking back onto his beanbag, Mark waved at them with a pout on his face. “Have fun, Yuta hyung! Jungwoo hyung’s a real professional at this.”

“Be careful,” Kun repeated himself, in which Jungwoo responded with a reassuring nod this time. He turned to Yuta, who had been silently watching all of this unfold in front of him, utterly confused but not daring to say a word.

“Yuta?” The tone of his voice had switched from confident and serious to cute and high-pitched, one that Yuta was used to hearing. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Throughout their trip to the train station, though Yuta was bursting with questions about the conversation Jungwoo had with Kun, he remained silent, remembering the word ‘confidential’ that Jungwoo had emphasised to him earlier. He wasn’t even the one executing the mission, but it felt like his organs were all twisted up in an uncomfortable way, making him squirm on his seat on the train.

He looked beside him and expected Jungwoo to be restless as well, but the man appeared to be everything except that, engrossed in some shooting game he was playing on his phone. In fact, it was Yuta who had to nudge him when they arrived at Guro station. Getting off the train, Yuta saw Jungwoo scroll through his messages with Kun, before navigating his way through the station.

“Kun said they’ll be coming in from exit 5,” he sat down at a bench that was at the corner of the train platform, giving them a good view of exit 5 while still being close to the train arrival area. “It’s 1829. Now we just have to play the waiting game.”

Instead of going back to his phone, Jungwoo sat still on the bench, keeping a close eye on all the people walking down the stairs. Now that their surroundings were a little more noisy and bustling as compared to the train previously, Yuta gently tapped the focused man to get his attention.

“Can you tell me how this is going to work?” His voice was just above a whisper, “what’s that hook that boss Kun was talking about for?”

“The hook is used for retying strings,” Jungwoo explained calmly, talking to Yuta as if this was their everyday conversation so as to not attract unnecessary attention. “Since I do this job alone, it’ll be hard to cut the second person’s string while still holding on to the first person’s string to make sure it doesn’t disappear, right? This hook acts as a third hand for me, helping me to hold the first person’s string while I cut the second’s.”

Yuta tilted his head to the side in question. “I thought you said that no one but observers could touch and hold the strings?”

“You can think of everyone’s string as a fingerprint. It might appear similar, but none of them are the same. Remember how I scanned my string to get into the office? They could identify that it was me based on my string,” Jungwoo clarified, not taking his eyes off the stairs. “These hooks are like those scanners. Kun registered this hook to recognise Jihoon and Soonyoung, so when it touches one of their strings, it recognises it and sticks to it, and won’t let go until it touches the other string.”

“God, this is so complicated,” Yuta buried his head in his palms, hearing Jungwoo softly giggle at him.

“You’ll know what I mean soon,” Jungwoo got up from his seat just as a train entered the platform. “Come on. Jihoon and Soonyoung are here.”

Jungwoo stood behind two men clad in office attire and followed them into the train when the doors opened. Keeping a safe distance from them, Yuta observed their actions closely.

Soonyoung and Jihoon were standing beside each other, holding onto the handles that dangled from the railing, while Jungwoo stood with his back against the opposite door. The train wasn’t that crowded, so Yuta understood that it would be suspicious for Jungwoo to stand so closely to them. 

Just like that, they travelled past a few stations, the number of passengers onboard not really changing. When the train jerked to a stop at Seoul station, Yuta saw how the smaller one, which he presumed to be Jihoon, almost lost his balance if not for Soonyoung catching him by the waist. Jihoon glanced around nervously before slapping Soonyoung’s hand away.

Yuta smiled grimly, getting reminded of Doyoung and Taeyong’s early days before they became official. Before Jihoon had the time to step away from Soonyoung, a wave of passengers flooded into the train, pushing them to the back of the cabin.

Inching closer to get a better view, Yuta noticed that they had landed a spot right in front of Jungwoo. After the doors had shut and the train started moving again, Jungwoo reached into his pocket and pulled out the palm-sized scissors. 

It all happened in a split second. One moment, Jungwoo was reaching forward to snip Jihoon’s string and the next moment, it was already tucked into his pocket, the hook helping him to hold it as he reached for Soonyoung’s string this time. Once he successfully cut it, it joined Jihoon’s string in his pocket, and the two strings that converged in his pocket instantly fell through the fabric. What was left was one perfect, unblemished string connecting the two of them.

For the umpteenth time that day, Yuta’s jaw fell open at the magical occurrence that just took place.

He didn’t have long to take in all that happened before the train halted at City Hall station. Jungwoo grabbed Yuta’s wrist and dragged the stunned man out, not letting go until they were out of the station.

“You wanna grab some dinner before we head back? I know some good places around here, let’s go eat some-”

“Jungwoo. That was  _ amazing _ .”

Jungwoo’s jaw hung open with his unfinished sentence, forgetting whatever he was going to say next at Yuta’s sudden compliment. He froze for a few seconds, before a warm, genuine smile spread out on his face, the tips of his ears much redder than before.

“Thank you, Yuta,” he quickly turned away, tugging at Yuta’s arm to get him to start walking. Yuta failed to hide a chuckle, not missing the opportunity to fluster the man further by pinching his cheek. 

“Anyway,” Jungwoo cleared his throat awkwardly, “since you know about us and what we do, do you want to join us?”

“Join you? As in The Vision?” Yuta thought for awhile, before remembering, “I already have a job.”

“That doesn’t matter, you don’t have to work here full-time like me,” Jungwoo reasoned. “We have Mark, who’s still in school, and there’s lots of people who already have a job but come in once in a while to do missions.”

Yuta went silent for several moments, contemplating Jungwoo’s offer. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Isn’t it dangerous to be involved in all these things?”

Jungwoo snickered softly, bumping his shoulder against Yuta. “If that’s what you’re worried about, yes, it does get a little risky at times but no, it’s not illegal.”

Yuta sighed heavily, kicking some dead leaves as they walked along on the sidewalk. He turned to look at Jungwoo, who was still looking at him with an eager expression on his face, and sighed again.

“I’m scared.”

Jungwoo halted in his tracks, spun around and stood in front of Yuta, preventing him from walking further.

“In case you haven’t realised, I’m suggesting that we do this together. You’re not going to be alone, Yuta, I’ll be with you.”

Maybe it was because of Jungwoo’s genuine words that managed to shrink the large ball of nerves in his stomach, maybe it was the comforting grin on his face that was a few inches too close than usual, but the fear and apprehension that was bubbling in him instantly dissipated and was replaced with a calm feeling that  _ everything would be okay _ .

“Will you work together and go on missions with me, Yuta?” Jungwoo enquired again.

Returning Jungwoo’s smile, Yuta gave in to the man’s temptation, a feeling of warmth spreading through his body.

“Okay. I’ll join you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay mark and kun are here!! mark was my favourite character to write so anticipate seeing more of him!! look forward to yuta's adventures in the vision in the next chapter :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we think we know lots about someone when in reality, we don't know them at all.

The night before his first mission, Yuta lay on his bed with his eyes wide open, any intention of sleep thrown far out of the window.

Frankly, he shouldn’t have any reason to be nervous. Kun had given him lots of lessons and training, he'd followed Jungwoo to his missions and observed how he did them, and Mark reassured him that it would be a simple one, since it was his first time.

Despite all of that, the butterflies in Yuta’s stomach still refused to fly away. When the first rays of sunlight seeped through the gap of his curtain and he still hadn’t caught a wink of sleep, Yuta decided,  _ fuck it, _ he’ll just coffee his way through the day and hope Jungwoo won’t ask any questions about his dark eye circles-

“Oh. You’re up.”

Yuta’s first reaction was to shriek at the top of his lungs and throw a bedroom slipper at the unwelcome intruder. Calmly dodging the flying object, the intruder waited for Yuta to finish yelling before sternly placing his hands on his hips.

“Good morning to you too, Yuta.”

“Jungwoo,” Yuta’s voice was a mixture of surprise and fear. “How did you get in here?”

“How many times will you forget that you gave me a copy of your access card?” Jungwoo scowled, and with his posture and the apron that he wore over his clothes, Yuta couldn’t help thinking that he looked like an angsty Asian mom.

“Oh. Right,” Yuta tried to erase the image out of his head. “Still, you could’ve just knocked.”

“I didn't want to wake you up. Knowing you, you’d probably be so nervous for today that you wouldn't be able to get much sleep,” Jungwoo stepped closer. “Judging by the size of your eyebags, I’m pretty sure you didn't get any sleep at all.”

Yuta chuckled nervously, shrinking into his bundle of blankets.

“Also knowing you, you’d be too nervous to eat anything,” Jungwoo turned around and walked out of Yuta’s bedroom, his voice echoing down the corridor. “I made you some kimchi udon. You like it, right?”

After Jungwoo disappeared out of his room, Yuta’s lips unknowingly curved into a relaxed smile. Though it wasn’t much, Jungwoo’s little actions never failed to lift his mood.

“We’ll head there after you finish your breakfast,” Jungwoo instructed as Yuta emerged from his bedroom, putting a bowl of piping hot soup on the table.

“ _ This _ early? I don’t even go to work this early,” Yuta grumbled, sitting down at the table.

“It’s your first mission. You’ll need much longer than me to study your case before you head out,” Jungwoo answered patiently, sliding into the seat opposite Yuta. 

Without questioning him further, Yuta complied with Jungwoo, going straight to the building after they had finished their meal. With every step he took towards Jungwoo’s office, Yuta felt the butterflies coming back one by one, and when Yuta opened the door to find Kun already seated at Jungwoo’s desk, the nervousness struck him at full force, making his hands quiver slightly.

Seeming to notice the sudden shift in Yuta’s emotions, Jungwoo wrapped a protective arm around his waist and sat him down on a beanbag, keeping his arm there as he sat down closely beside him.

“Good morning,” Kun greeted, spinning around on Jungwoo’s swivel chair to face the both of them. “Sorry I came into your office without your permission, Jungwoo, I needed to access some old files.”

“You’re my boss, Kun, you don’t need to say sorry,” Jungwoo dismissed him quickly. “Where’s Mark?”

“He’s  _ your _ cousin and you’re asking  _ me _ ,” Kun shot him an unamused look. “It’s still early, the kid’s probably still sleeping at home. He’ll be coming in later.”

Standing up and walking over to the two of them, Kun took a seat on the beanbag that was opposite Jungwoo and Yuta, a familiar-looking file in his arms. Knowing that it was finally coming, Yuta’s body stiffened again, but the hand that was once on his waist travelled up to reassuringly squeeze his shoulder.

“Here’s your mission, Yuta,” Kun eyed the hand on Yuta’s shoulder, a suspicious smirk making its way onto his face. Yuta received the file politely with two shaky hands.

“Jung Cheolho and Kim Jihan. Two soulmates,” Kun started as Yuta flipped open the file. “They’ve been together for about three years, but Jihan’s been getting physically abused by Cheolho, and she doesn’t have the courage to do anything about it.”

“Oh God, that’s terrible,” Jungwoo winced, reading the contents of the file alongside Yuta, his chin almost resting on his shoulder.

“So… I just have to cut either of their strings?” Yuta didn’t seem to be bothered by Jungwoo’s proximity, looking up at Kun.

“Yes. Cheolho spends most of his time in his office, so it’ll be quite hard to catch him,” Kun gestured for him to flip to the page with their schedules. “Jihan stays at home most of the time, but goes to this cafe everyday to get a drink. I think you’ll be able to meet her there.”

“Alright, I’ll study this before I head there. Is there anything else I need to take note of?”

“You can use Jungwoo’s scissors for the time being, I’ll get you your own one soon,” Kun pointed to the stationery case on Jungwoo’s desk. As he walked past them to get to the door, his eyes never left Jungwoo, who was practically leaning his entire body on Yuta’s at that point.

“You can ask Jungwoo if you have any questions. Good luck and be careful, Yuta,” Kun smiled suggestively at him, before swiftly exiting the room.

“Why was boss Kun looking at me like  _ that _ ,” Yuta resumed his attention on the file, a confused frown on his face. “I’m a little disturbed.”

As if suddenly aware of their proximity, Jungwoo sprung away from Yuta to the adjacent beanbag, curling up into a small ball and hugging his knees. Yuta raised a questioning eyebrow at him, but Jungwoo just avoided his gaze and promptly changed the topic.

“You’re not nervous anymore? Looks like I don’t need to be here then.”

“What? No, you’re not going anywhere,” Yuta puckered his face and made his point clear by joining Jungwoo on his beanbag, going back to the same position as they were before. “You’re staying with me until I finish my mission. I’ll… I’ll be scared if you’re not here.”

Turning his neck to look at Jungwoo, Yuta’s gaze was directly met with his. The look in his eyes was hesitant and a little apprehensive, like he had something to say but something else was holding him back. Before Yuta had a chance to ask him what was wrong, Jungwoo broke their eye contact first, grabbing the file that Yuta had abandoned on the table and dropping it on their laps.

“Study your case. We don’t have all day,” Jungwoo blinked nervously, his voice sounding a bit wobbly. “Resonance cafe. Anytime between 1300 to 1800. Attire- usually a hoodie, cap, sweatpants…”

As Jungwoo recited all the important details out, Yuta kept a close eye on him, not missing the way he seemed more irritable and sensitive than other days. 

_ Something was definitely up with him, but if Jungwoo didn’t have any intention of telling him anything, should Yuta persist in getting him to open up? _

* * *

Yuta glanced at the clock on his phone for the nth time that hour, his leg bouncing up and down impatiently, fingers rapping an incessant beat on the table.

“Are you sure we’ve come to the right place? It’s been three hours,” Yuta whined, peeking out of the window. “What if Jihan decided not to come today?”

“Yuta, I’m pretty sure there’s only one Resonance cafe around here. Be patient,” Jungwoo replied tiredly, and Yuta thought that he sounded like a nagging mother once again. “The core of this job is to practice the art of waiting. She’ll come eventually, trust me.”

Pursing his lips in annoyance, Yuta slumped his shoulders in defeat. In contrast to his fidgetiness, Jungwoo was sitting across him carefully nibbling on the slice of cake that he had bought, looking like he came for high tea instead of to accompany Yuta on his first mission. Resuming his gaze out of the window, after what seemed like an eternity, the figure that Yuta had been anticipating walked briskly into the cafe.

Suddenly feeling his heartbeat speed up, beads of cold sweat gathered at Yuta’s temples as he watched Jihan make a beeline for the queue. Looking at the man seated across him for comfort, Jungwoo gave him one reassuring nod before Yuta found the surge of confidence to rise from his seat and stand behind Jihan in the queue.

At the sudden tall presence behind her, Jihan instinctively flinched slightly, shrinking further into the bundle of thick, concealing clothing she had dressed in. Yuta brainstormed on the spot before deciding to pull out his phone to scroll through some social media to assure her that he wasn’t a threat. When he thought it was the right moment, his left hand slipped into his pocket to pull out Jungwoo’s scissors, carefully obscuring the small instrument in his palm as he reached forward to swiftly snip the red thread.

And just like that, Yuta had succeeded on his first mission. The wave of relief that swept over him felt so satisfying that he wanted to just scream out loud in happiness, but decided to save that for later as he queued all the way to avoid acting suspicious. With a cup of grapefruit ade in his hand, he made his way back to the entrance of the cafe, where Jungwoo was standing waiting for him.

“Hey. You did really well. Like a professional. I almost couldn’t tell it was your first time,” Jungwoo’s sincere words in his signature serene tone sent rays of warmth to Yuta’s chest, heating his cheeks up into a shade of light pink.

“Don’t exaggerate. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done,” Yuta passed the cup to a surprised Jungwoo. “Here. For you. You like this, right? Thank you for accompanying me today.”

Jungwoo received the cup gratefully, offering a small smile as a sign of thanks. As they exited the cafe, they caught a glimpse of Jihan hastily walking down the sidewalk, presumably back to her house. Though he wasn’t sure if what he did would be of any help to her, a strange sense of pride stirred up in him when he saw her string now dangling freely from her pinky, disentangled from all of the troubles that once held her down. 

“Will Jihan be free from Cheolho now? Is there any way that I’ll be able to know?” Yuta asked as they continued standing there even after Jihan had disappeared around a corner, staring into nothing.

“Kun will most likely update you about them when something happens.” Jungwoo curled a hand around Yuta’s arm, pulling him away from the cafe. “Remember Soonyoung and Jihoon? A day after I tied them together, they became official. Jihoon must’ve confessed to Soonyoung that night, I guess.”

Yuta grinned to himself, getting flashbacks of the morning after Jungwoo tied Doyoung and Taeyong together. The day in which Doyoung tolerated Taeyong’s clinginess for the first time felt so distant, given that skinship had become a common occurrence in their relationship now. 

Hearing a sigh come from beside him, Yuta predicted that Jungwoo was probably thinking of the same thing. However, when Yuta turned his head to look at him, a troubled expression was clearly etched on his features, making Yuta think twice about what was actually going on in his head.

“I have to go back to the building for a while, I left my earphones there,” Yuta paused at an intersection, pointing his thumb in the general direction of the building. “You wanna come with me? We can go get dinner afterwards then hang out at my place.”

Jungwoo seemed to be thinking hard on how to craft a response to Yuta’s suggestion, judging on the way his mouth periodically opened and closed. After a few moments, an apologetic smile curved on his lips and the hand that was around Yuta’s arm returned to his side.

“I’d love to have dinner with you but… I’m meeting Doyoung today. It’s been a long time since the two of us caught up, so…” Jungwoo trailed off, peeking at Yuta’s reaction.

Yuta chuckled lightheartedly, giving Jungwoo’s shoulder a light shove. “You could’ve just told me then, don’t need to feel bad about it. We can always hang out another day, right?”

The worry on Jungwoo’s face appeared to be erased with Yuta’s positive response. He nodded cutely, giving a small wave to Yuta before he turned left at the intersection. Keeping an eye on him until he was out of sight, Yuta then began his journey back to the building.

Now that it was the evening, the secret agency headquarters seemed to finally live up to its name, or as Jungwoo would put it, Yuta’s stereotype. Only half the lights surrounding the factory were turned on, probably to save electricity, leaving a good portion of the area shrouded in darkness. The eerie silence also amplified the little creaks and groans that the cargo lift made, leaving Yuta clinging onto the railings for his life in the unlikely event that the lift gave way under his weight.

Entering the office filled Yuta with a sense of comfort, since the place appeared exactly the same as it did as always. Walking down the corridor to Jungwoo’s office, he noticed the lights in Mark and Kun’s office turned on as well, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone.

He got as far as turning on the lights in Jungwoo’s office before a small head peeked from the doorframe.

“Jungwoo hyung?” Mark’s curious, uncertain voice drifted into the room, startling Yuta.

“Oh  _ Yuta hyung! _ ” Mark practically yelled in excitement, bouncing over to the called man who was frozen in his tracks, unsure of how to deal with the kid’s energy. “What brings you here? Did you not come with Jungwoo hyung?”

“Jungwoo’s out meeting a friend. I came to get something I left behind,” Yuta lifted up his earphones to prove his point.

“Does this mean you’re going now?” A pout made an appearance on Mark’s lips. “Can you keep me company while I work on the boring stuff that Boss assigned me?”

At Yuta’s hesitance, Mark tried bribing him further, tugging on his arm. “Please? Boss is gonna order pizza later, I’ll share it with you?”

Yuta cracked a smile at Mark’s cuteness, nodding in defeat at the boy who proceeded to cheer and drag him excitedly to his office.  _ No wonder Mark and Jungwoo are cousins, _ Yuta thought,  _ their ability to use their cuteness to get what they want is incredibly effective. _

When Yuta entered Mark’s office, he had to blink a couple of times to make sure that he was still in the same building as before.

If Jungwoo’s office was warm and calm, Mark’s office was loud and… wild. The first thing he noticed when he stepped into the room was the enormous DDR machine located at the far end. It wasn’t turned on at the moment, but judging by the worn out foot buttons, it appeared that Mark had spent quite a large amount of time on it.

“Hyung, you like DDR too?” Mark noticed Yuta’s alarmed stare and pranced over to the machine. “Boss bought it for me on my birthday last year! Oh dude, I used to be so bad at it, but now I can all-combo a level fifteen song! Want me to show you?”

Politely declining before Mark could turn on the machine, Yuta resumed his sight-seeing. Instead of the conventional white wallpaper, Mark’s was a bright yellow, instantly giving the place a more cheerful and happy vibe. A large gaming computer sat on his desk beside the DDR machine, its CPU emitting the colours of the rainbow. At the other corner of the room was a shelf stocked with junk food, instant noodles and soft drinks. To top things off, a wide-screen LCD television hung on the wall, playing some Netflix series that Yuta hadn’t seen before, multiple handheld gaming devices lined on the table below it.

The only sign that this was an office was the stacks of papers on the table facing the television and the mess of files that littered the area around it. Yuta cautiously took a seat on one of the beanbags that was identical to Jungwoo’s, his pupils still scanning his surroundings, like he was witnessing some exhibit in a museum.

“Sorry, it’s kinda overwhelming, right?” Mark chuckled sheepishly, sitting on a cushion in front of the glass table. “Jungwoo hyung and Boss are the ones who bought me like, everything in this room, but they’re the same ones saying that it’s too bright and loud in here, so I spend most of my time here alone.”

Offering the kid an encouraging smile, Yuta shook his head. “It’s not overwhelming. It feels so energetic and lively here, like a reflection of your own personality. I love it.”

“Oh dude, you didn’t have to,” Mark shyly dismissed him, but the way his cheekbones involuntarily raised at the compliment was enough evidence to show that he enjoyed it.

“Jungwoo and Boss Kun must really love you a lot, huh? They spoil you like no tomorrow,” Yuta teased, using his chin to gesture to the entire room.

“Yeah,” Mark replied bashfully. “Though Jungwoo hyung’s my cousin and Boss is my… well, boss, they both feel like my real brothers. I’ve spent so much time here that my mom is thinking of including Boss in our family tree already.”

“Your mom knows about this job? She knows that you can see the strings?”

“Well… she doesn’t know much about what we do, since confidentiality and stuff,” Mark’s enthusiasm grew as he continued. “But she does know that I’m an observer! That’s the reason why we moved to Korea in the first place. Cuz Jungwoo hyung has the same ability and mom thought we’d get along well!”

Yuta felt mildly ashamed that he had to break the boy’s good mood by interjecting, “you’re… not from Korea?”

Mark’s face fell at the question. “Jungwoo hyung really hasn’t told you anything about me, has he?”

Yuta flashed him a meek smile, shaking his head embarrassingly.

“It’s okay. I knew he wouldn’t anyway,” Mark recovered from the mood drop almost too quickly, back to being all smiles again. “I was born in Canada. Like Jungwoo hyung, I could see the strings from birth. God knows if it’s a genetic thing or what, but when mom found out that I was an observer, we flew to Korea straight away. Jungwoo hyung’s ten years older than me so he practically raised me since I was a kid, and we’ve been inseparable since then.”

“Wait, if Jungwoo is ten years older than you…” Yuta did the math in his head. “You’re still in  _ high school?! _ But you’re already working here??”

Mark giggled at Yuta’s exasperated reaction, “it’s because of me, actually. When I found out that Jungwoo hyung was working here, I begged him to join too, though I was only in middle school. Boss and Jungwoo hyung eventually gave in, but only on the condition that I can’t go on missions until I’m old enough. Boss says it’s too risky.”

Yuta’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, realisation dawning on him that throughout the few weeks he had been here, it was only Jungwoo going on missions and never Mark. He’d always thought that Jungwoo got to go on more missions because he was more experienced, not because he was literally a decade older than the kid.

“So this is what you do instead?” Yuta motioned towards the clutter of papers and files that Mark was sitting in the middle of. “That doesn’t look fun. If you’ve been working here for several years already, you’re bound to have more experience than me, so why does Boss Kun assign missions to me but not to you?”

Mark shrugged sadly, arranging a bunch of papers before punching holes in them. “I don’t know the exact reason, but Boss says that Jungwoo hyung started going on missions around my age, and they… didn’t go well. I think he wants me to grow up and be more mature so that I can handle these things by myself.”

_ Jungwoo started going on missions around Mark’s age, _ Yuta repeated Mark’s words in his head, remembering the files dating back nine years ago in Jungwoo’s office.  _ How did nineteen-year-old Jungwoo get himself involved in this risky job at such a young age? _

“Do you know why Jungwoo started working here in the first place?” Yuta voiced out his curiosities to Mark, who only offered him an apologetic smile as a reply.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to ask Jungwoo hyung about that yourself. Even I don’t know the full story on what happened. Jungwoo hyung’s… how do I say this? He’s kinda closed off. He has this thick, almost impermeable shell surrounding him, and you have to really take the time and effort to peel it off.”

As Mark went back to filing his papers, Yuta was left to analyse what he said. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Throughout the two over years that Yuta had known him, all his knowledge of Jungwoo was surface-level. All Yuta knew about him was that he was roommates with Taeil and college friends with Doyoung, before Jungwoo had told him about his job recently.

After what Mark had implied, Yuta wasn’t sure on how many other secrets Jungwoo had kept from him.

A light knock on the door prevented Yuta’s mind from wandering off too far. Kun appeared at the doorway, his eyes lighting up in surprise at Yuta’s presence.

“Yuta. You’re here,” his signature warm grin greeted him. “I’ve seen that your mission went very well. Good job.”

“Thank you,” Yuta replied politely. Kun nodded in acknowledgement before beckoning Mark over to him. 

“Mark, the pizza’s here. Will you follow me to go collect-” 

Mark sprung from his seat in an instant, not waiting for Kun as he zoomed down the corridor. Kun shook his head affectionately, giving Yuta a small wave before chasing after the hyperactive boy.

Left alone in the office, Yuta took over Mark’s seat and resumed his task, distracting his mind from drifting back to Mark’s words again.

* * *

Jungwoo stepped off the bus, taking a moment to admire his surroundings. Though almost a decade had passed, the college that him and Doyoung went to still looked the same as before.

_ It’s been a long time. _

Huddling in his jacket for warmth, Jungwoo began the trek to the place that Doyoung had suggested to meet. It was one of the noodle shops that they frequented during their college days, which was surprisingly still in business though ten years had passed.

Jungwoo took his time to walk by all the familiar landmarks that brought back memories of the past, letting his feet naturally take him to his destination. He walked past the arcade, where him and Doyoung used to spend hours battling with each other on the numerous machines. He spotted the gym across the road, where Doyoung used to drag him to build muscles, complaining that Jungwoo was too skinny and frail. His feet involuntarily stopped in front of a small, cozy-looking bakery, where…

Hands curling into tight fists, Jungwoo forced himself to continue walking, his gaze glued to his feet.

With the brisk pace he was walking at after passing by the bakery, Jungwoo quickly arrived at the noodle shop. Doyoung was already sitting at a vacant table waiting for him, enthusiastically beckoning him over when he saw Jungwoo entering the restaurant.

“Jungwoo! Quick, let’s start eating while it’s still hot,” Doyoung was already holding out a pair of chopsticks before he could even sit down. “Man, the last time I ate the _Kalkguksu_ here was when we were in college, I miss it so much. Do you know that the owner still remembers me?”

Staring at his own bowl of noodles, Jungwoo asked rhetorically, “you ordered mine too?”

“Of course I did!” Doyoung playfully kicked him under the table. “I asked for no zucchini and added the dumplings that you like. That’s how you usually ordered it, right?”

Looking up at the man opposite him, an affectionate, heartfelt smile spread across his lips. “Thank you, Doyoung.”

“You don’t have to thank me, I thought we’d established that long ago,” Doyoung tapped on the chopsticks that were still balanced on the rim of his bowl. “Quick, the noodles are gonna get bloated if you wait anymore. Are you waiting for me to feed you?”

Doyoung’s words caught him off-guard, and even though Jungwoo knew he was just joking with him, he still managed to choke on nothing but air. An alarmed gasp came from Doyoung’s direction and a cup of water was already placed near his lips within seconds, Doyoung’s worried voice asking if he was okay.

Accepting the cup and slowly sipping on the water, Doyoung proffered him a sheet of tissue, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. “Seriously, so many years have passed and I still have to take care of you. Some things never change, huh?”

Smiling awkwardly at him, Jungwoo received one of Doyoung’s eye rolls before finally picking up his chopsticks to begin his meal.

As they ate and talked, Jungwoo couldn’t help but reminisce about the past. Doyoung recounting the interesting events that occurred at work that day reminded Jungwoo of how he used to talk about the most random of things just to fill the silence between them and to make him feel comfortable. The way Doyoung constantly glanced at Jungwoo to make sure that he was okay, refilling his cup of water when it was empty and asking for more side dishes when Jungwoo had cleaned his plate brought back memories to the days when Doyoung used to do the same. When Jungwoo closed his eyes and immersed himself in the moment, it really felt like he had been teleported back to the time of nineteen-year-olds Jungwoo and Doyoung.

However, there was one thing that didn’t remain the same. 

Opening his eyes again, Jungwoo was slapped with reality when the short, red string that once connected the two of their pinkies had been split into two. Doyoung’s end trailed off somewhere into the distance, while Jungwoo’s end hung limply from his pinky, its ends frayed uglily.

No matter how similar it felt to the past, nothing could change the fact that their present selves were drastically different now- Doyoung had found true love in someone else, and Jungwoo had gotten his heart broken miserably.

_ And it still hurts. _

“Jungwoo? Is anything wrong?” Doyoung, of course, noticed the dark cloud that had formed above Jungwoo which gloomed his expression.

At times like this, Jungwoo’s incomprehensible, monotonous, plastic grin came in handy.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Probably already used to Jungwoo’s facade, Doyoung just sighed in response, reaching over to squeeze his wrist to show his reassurance.

_ But since I have the old Doyoung back for now, shouldn’t I just make full use of this opportunity? _

“Doesn’t this feel like the old days?” Jungwoo temporarily let go of the struggles that held him back as he shared his thoughts with Doyoung. “I mean, if you minus the fact that you’re in office attire and I’m like, ten kilograms heavier as compared to back then.”

“Yeah, ten kilograms heavier and ten times more confident about yourself,” Doyoung snickered at the memory, before he became serious. “But really, it’s nice to see how you’ve grown into a much stronger and better person since then. The nineteen-year-old Doyoung would be so happy to see you like this now.”

There it was, without fail. The spark of hope that rekindled the flame of expectation.

“Then is the twenty-eight-year-old Doyoung happy to see me like this now?” Jungwoo tried, and unlike what he had expected, the man gave him a sincere smile and a genuine answer.

“Is that even a question? Of course I am.”

The flame burned brightly, casting its heat through Jungwoo’s body as his shoulders untensed for the first time in the entirety of that day, feeling himself melt away on his seat. It was as if a bouquet of flowers was blooming in his chest, sending a tingling feeling through his heart, something that Jungwoo hadn’t experienced in a long time.

As he was basking in the warmth of Doyoung’s words, a soft tune suddenly emitted from the latter’s phone as it started vibrating. Doyoung quickly picked up the phone and Jungwoo could faintly make out Sicheng’s voice from the other end.

He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but the way Doyoung’s expression hardened after hearing Sicheng’s words, and the way his gaze nervously flickered between Jungwoo and the floor, already gave him his answer.

Instantly, a gust of cold wind extinguished the fire and the flowers that had bloomed in Jungwoo’s chest wilted into a patch of dead, withered stalks.

_ It’s happening again. _

After a minute of speaking on the phone, Doyoung hung up the call, a conflicted expression etched on his face. Jungwoo put down his chopsticks, already anticipating what Doyoung was going to say to him.

“It’s… Taeyong. Sicheng said he’s drunk beyond his wits. I have to bring him home.”

_ Of course it’s Taeyong. _

Trains of apologies tumbled out of Doyoung’s mouth as he placed some cash on the table, enough to cover for the both of them. Jungwoo sat absolutely still on his seat, moving only his pupils to follow Doyoung’s movements as he grabbed his things, waved at him, and rushed out of the restaurant.

And just like that, he was left alone, yet again.

Jungwoo stared at the half-eaten bowl of noodles in front of him. What used to be his favourite _kalguksu_ in the whole world suddenly looked revolting and he had the urge to throw up. Fighting back the tears that built up in his eyes, Jungwoo calmed himself down for a good five minutes before throwing on his jacket and making his exit as well.

_ It’s okay, _ Jungwoo tried his best to console himself, plastering on his fake smile like nothing was wrong.  _ Next time, Doyoung wouldn’t be like that again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late valentines day present <3 you're welcome for the angst, things will just go downhill from here :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo's excruciating, nine-year long journey of one-sided love finally comes to an end.

**From:** doie🐰

_ Hey Jungwoo!! I’m free after work today, do you want to grab dinner together? _

_ I’m really sorry for leaving halfway that day :( Can I make it up to you? _

Turning off his phone screen without replying to Doyoung, Jungwoo sighed conflictingly, placing his phone face down on the table.

“You okay?” 

Jungwoo nodded as Yuta entered the living room with two sandwiches in hand, offering one to Jungwoo. He accepted it gratefully, promptly taking a bite out of it and surprised at the shockingly good taste. Yuta mirrored his action, before pointing his phone camera at his bite and taking a picture of it.

“You take pictures of your cooking?” Jungwoo questioned as Yuta typed out a message, the sandwich dangling from his mouth. “Is this for your Instagram story or something? I want to appear in it too.”

“Instagram, my ass,” Yuta rolled his eyes, putting down his phone once he was done typing. “It’s for Doyoung.”

At the mention of the man who was the cause of his troubles, Jungwoo’s expression noticeably darkened. He quickly resumed his attention on his breakfast before Yuta could note the shift in his mood.

“Doyoung?”

“Yeah, he orders me to take a picture of my breakfast every morning after him and Taeyong stopped coming over,” Yuta snickered. “I keep telling him that I’m fine and can take care of myself, but after so many relapses of me rotting away in here because he didn’t come to check on me, he won’t believe me anymore.”

Nodding awkwardly at Yuta’s answer, Jungwoo mentally slapped himself at the pang of jealousy that stabbed him.  _ Yuta is also Doyoung’s best friend, _ he reminded himself, but the unpleasant feeling in his chest didn’t go away.

_ Does Doyoung treat every one of his friends like that?  _

Yuta’s worried, piercing gaze that bored through Jungwoo's face jolted him out of his thoughts. Jungwoo reassured him with one of his artificial smiles and Yuta cocked a suspicious eyebrow at him but didn’t elaborate on it.

“It sounds like Doyoung really cares a lot about you,” he commented, intentionally leaving the purpose of his statement vague and unclear.

“Yeah, I know he does,” Yuta smiled to himself, thankfully not questioning the weird look on Jungwoo’s face as he said that. “It might sound quite cringy, but if not for Doyoung, I probably wouldn’t even be here right now.”

The second wave of pain hit harder than the first one. Jungwoo tightly clenched his jaw to prevent himself from wincing too apparently as he forced himself to emit a light laugh at Yuta’s response. But as he unravelled the cause of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest, he discovered that this time, it wasn’t jealousy, but empathy.

_ Without Doyoung, I wouldn’t be here right now as well. _

“You haven’t fully gotten over him yet, have you?”

Yuta’s abrupt question caught Jungwoo off-guard; the way his pupils quivered in panic clearly gave Yuta his answer. Squeezing his hand sympathetically, Yuta flashed him a meek grin before rising from his chair, not allowing Jungwoo a chance to explain himself.

“It’s okay. I understand. It’s really hard for me to fully get over Sicheng, too,” Yuta’s voice echoed from the kitchen.

The knot of uneasiness in Jungwoo’s chest twisted tighter at Yuta’s words, but Jungwoo was unable to find the right words to explain the emotion he felt at that moment. He followed Yuta into the kitchen, found him washing his hands at the sink and rested his forehead on Yuta's nape.

Almost instantly, the knot melted away, a warm ball of fuzz replacing it. Yuta chuckled softly at Jungwoo’s action, turning around so that he could lean on his shoulder comfortably while he affectionately smoothened out his hair.

“What’s wrong?” Yuta’s concerned voice tugged at Jungwoo’s heartstrings and for a split second, Jungwoo considered spilling his worries to the man in front of him.

“I have a mission later, and I’m nervous. Since you’re not coming with me,” Jungwoo changed his mind and told a white lie. He did have a mission later in the day, but that wasn’t the root of his gloomy mood.

“Do you want me to come with you? I can call in sick today, if it helps you feel better,” the sincerity in Yuta’s voice nearly brought tears to Jungwoo’s eyes. He lifted his head from Yuta’s shoulder and shook his head, offering him a grateful smile.

“You have work, I don’t want to bother you,” he replied truthfully. “Plus, Mark is coming with me this time. He keeps whining that you stole me away from him.”

Although he cracked a smile at the mention of Mark, the worry in Yuta’s eyes didn’t waver as he continued looking at Jungwoo for confirmation. “Are you sure?”

Jungwoo thought for a moment, before inching closer to Yuta. “Can I have a hug?”

Yuta didn’t have to think twice before wrapping his arms around Jungwoo’s shoulders, enclosing him in a blanket of warmth. Jungwoo’s arms came up to hug his waist as well, melting into the comfort of their embrace. During that moment, all his worries about Doyoung were forgotten, the thoughts in his mind clouded and hazy as he was surrounded by Yuta’s familiar and comforting scent.

“Good luck on your mission,” Yuta’s voice was muffled by Jungwoo’s clothes. He gave a hum of acknowledgement, before releasing his grip on him.

“I’m going downstairs to meet Doyoung and Taeyong, are you going to the building now?” Yuta grabbed his briefcase and stood by the door, waiting for Jungwoo’s answer. The latter nodded and they left the house together, taking the stairs one floor down to the couple’s unit below them.

“Oh right,” Yuta suddenly remembered, turning to Jungwoo before he entered the unit. “What time will you be done with your mission? I’m meeting Sicheng and Taeil for dinner today, do you want to come too?”

Jungwoo paused, contemplating Yuta’s offer. A large part of him wanted to agree, but he suddenly recalled the text on his phone and glanced at the closed door of Doyoung and Taeyong’s unit.

No matter how many times Doyoung had left him hurt and hanging, he could never give up another opportunity to spend time alone with him.

“I… don’t think I can make it. I already have plans tonight.”

* * *

Huddled in his jacket and watching his breath come out in small puffs, Jungwoo checked his phone for the upteenth time that hour, sighing when nothing but the time had changed.

He had been waiting for Doyoung for more than half an hour at an outdoor snack cart along the Han River, and Doyoung hadn’t sent him any sort of message informing Jungwoo that he would be late. He sipped on the cup of fishcake soup that the owner had given him out of pity, and wondered how long he could continue waiting before his patience wore out.

At first, he convinced himself by thinking that Doyoung might’ve just been held up at work, or the traffic was bad, but after awhile, his thoughts started to wander off in the opposite direction.  _ Did he forget that he was meeting me today? Or did he change his mind and stand me up? What if it’s because of Taeyong? Did Taeyong decide to bring him out for dinner today and Doyoung just agreed because he’d rather be with his boyfriend than with- _

“Jungwoo!” An exhausted, panting voice came from behind him and a worn-out Doyoung plopped into the seat beside him, the tips of his fringe damp with sweat despite the cold weather. “I’m so, so sorry I’m late, I had to settle some extra matters at work and it took me much longer than expected.”

Nodding understandingly, Jungwoo felt like an idiot for having all those nonsensical thoughts just a few moments ago.

“You can eat as much as you like, it’s my treat today,” Doyoung scanned the available food options, already grabbing several sticks of fishcakes for them.

“But you already treated me the other day.”

Swatting away Jungwoo’s thoughtfulness with his hand, Doyoung shook his head with a mouthful of food. “The other day is the other day. I want to treat you today. Plus, you’re quite tight on cash, aren’t you? You don’t have a job.”

Jungwoo paused for a moment before agreeing hastily, picking up a stick to fill the awkward emptiness in his mouth with food.

_ Right. He doesn’t know yet. _

“So, what did Mr. Unemployed do today?” Doyoung asked as he flicked open a bottle of beer, pouring Jungwoo a glass.

“I… had breakfast with Yuta. Then… I went home,” Jungwoo finished his lie by downing the entire glass in one go.

“Oh yeah. Yuta told me he had breakfast with you too, and he looked up recipes and made it with your favourite ingredients since you were eating with him.”

Jungwoo’s hand that was reaching to pour himself another glass stopped in midair. “He said that?”

“Yes,” Doyoung confirmed with a smug look on his face, taking the bottle from Jungwoo’s frozen hand and pouring it for him.

Fingers enclosing around the cold glass, Jungwoo took a moment to explore the feeling he got from that information. Should he feel happy that Yuta put in effort to make a dish that he liked? Or confused on why he did it when he could’ve just thrown anything inside? Or upset with himself that he didn’t notice Yuta’s efforts?

Deciding to let alcohol wash away the unexplainable sentiment in his chest, Jungwoo sat back and listened to Doyoung’s turn to rant about his day. With all his stress about Yuta and Doyoung pushed to the back of his head, Jungwoo tried not to focus on anything but the present, letting Doyoung’s rambling naturally erase his worries. He didn't notice that he was starting to feel a little light-headed until Doyoung snatched the glass away from his hand, sliding it to the other side of the table where it joined three empty bottles.

“Look at you, you’re definitely wasted,” Doyoung grumbled, but the worry in his eyes as he pressed a hand against Jungwoo’s cheek told a different story. “I shouldn’t have let you drink all of these.”

“I’m not wasted,” Jungwoo giggled, definitely wasted. Perhaps it was the alcohol getting to him that spiked his confidence, but he leaned in towards Doyoung’s touch, a foolish grin plastered on his face as he locked gazes with him. “Why do  _ you  _ look so sober? How many bottles did  _ you  _ have?”

Doyoung stared at him in concern, not moving his hand away. “Jungwoo, I don’t drink.”

Jungwoo returned the stare with confusion, his mind too cloudy to think straight, only able to focus on how warm Doyoung’s hand felt against his cheek and the close proximity of his face to his own.

“I bought these for you. Since I knew you wanted it.”

The usual flame of expectation that sparked from Doyoung’s words seemed to be fueled by the alcohol he consumed, turning into a bonfire that instantly caused redness to creep up his face and his heart to thunder away in his chest. His heavy-lidded eyes blinked slowly, the feeling making him feel so comfortable that he might’ve fallen asleep if not for Doyoung’s hand moving from his cheek to his wrist, dragging him away from the cart.

“Let’s take a walk to get you to sober up before we head back. You look terrible,” Doyoung tugged both of Jungwoo’s wrists as he examined his face closer, making Jungwoo’s already-malfunctioning mind go even more haywire. Oblivious to the thoughts going on in Jungwoo’s mind, Doyoung proceeded to wrap an arm around his shoulder as he guided him to start walking.

“Since when did your alcohol tolerance become this low? It used to take you forever to get drunk back in the days, remember?” Much more focused on the way their shoulders brushed against each other as they walked, Doyoung’s words went through one of Jungwoo’s ears and drifted out through the other. Humming in response every now and then, Jungwoo couldn’t help but reminisce about the past once again.

He recalled the times when Doyoung used to bring him here to cheer him up on bad days. Whether they went cycling, played basketball, or just sat at the convenience store eating instant noodles and listening to music, spending time with Doyoung always left him in high spirits. Back then, when it was just the two of them and no one else, everything was so simple.

Tuning back into Doyoung’s monologue, Jungwoo realised he was also having the same thoughts. “Should we go cycling for old time’s sake? No, you’re too drunk, you’ll probably crash the bike within five seconds and I’ll have to drag you home,” Doyoung seemed to be aware that he was talking to himself. “Or how about we get a two-seater bicycle? You can sit behind me.”

Obviously having lost control of the way his thoughts were forming in his mind, Jungwoo’s imagination wandered to absurd lengths. Sitting behind Doyoung on a couple bicycle, his head resting against Doyoung’s warm back, his arms wrapped around Doyoung’s thin waist for balance, his legs hanging freely instead of helping him pedal-

The familiar tune of Doyoung’s ringtone cut his thoughts off abruptly, snapping him back into reality. Halting in their tracks, Jungwoo’s gaze followed Doyoung’s hand as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone, his mind blanking out once he saw the caller ID.

_ Taeyong. _

It felt as if he had just gotten a hard slap across his face, making him plummet from his podium of exhilaration to the pits of disappointment. In fact, disappointment was an understatement; Jungwoo felt absolutely  _ crushed, _ like his heart has been trampled on and flattened hundreds of times. The alcohol in his system seemed to be drained out as he stood there vulnerably, watching Doyoung step to the side to answer the call.

As the seconds ticked by and Doyoung still hadn’t gotten off the phone with Taeyong, the helplessness subsided and anger took over. Jungwoo felt his blood boiling, his hands shaking, his jaw clenching so tight that any tighter and his teeth might’ve shattered. The vessel of patience in him had finally reached its limit, trembling with all the pressure built up in it. 

After Jungwoo counted seventy-six seconds, Doyoung hung up the call and turned around, eyebrows furrowed, nervously fiddling with his phone. His hesitancy to speak drove Jungwoo up the wall further, increasing the magnitude of the earthquake occurring in his body.

“It’s… Taeyong. He doesn’t feel well. I need to bring him medicine-”

The vessel exploded, and all of Jungwoo’s pent-up frustrations started erupting unendingly from his mouth.

“Taeyong this, Taeyong that! If Taeyong told you to jump off a building, would you?!” Jungwoo hollered at the top of his voice, the lack of people around them giving him the confidence to continue. “Do you really have to drop everything the moment something happens to him? Is he that much more important to you than me? Do my feelings even mean anything to you?”

Doyoung seemed to be frozen in his position, stunned at Jungwoo’s outburst to the point of forgetting how to breathe, gawking at Jungwoo with his wide, terrified eyes.

“Fine! I’ll admit it! I’m jealous of Taeyong!” Jungwoo spat out the feelings that he had been bottling up for years. “I like you, Kim Doyoung! I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you at college, the first time that you stood up for me!”

“Were you even aware that I had this stupid crush on you all this while? Do you know how much it hurts for you to keep giving me all that false hope, always taking care of me but suddenly becoming distant and running off to somewhere? It’s been nine years, Kim Doyoung, and after getting together with Taeyong, you’ve just become worse.”

Doyoung still didn’t move, but Jungwoo noticed that his eyes were starting to glisten under the bright streetlamp. Unfazed by his tears, Jungwoo continued rambling, not stopping until he had gotten it all off his chest.

“Do you know how hard it is? Not being able to confess to you, nor let you go, but always waiting for you to show me a clear green light or to tell me upfront that you’re seeing someone?” The stinging pain in his chest was starting to get unbearable, but Jungwoo kept going. “Why didn’t you tell me about Taeyong? I literally had to find out from Yuta that night when we met by chance in the pub. And do you know how I felt at that point of time?”

The haunting memories from that fateful night started to flood Jungwoo’s mind again. He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his shaky voice.

“I was so angry at myself. For being blind to the signs that you showed me, for being ignorant that I hadn’t noticed them earlier, for being selfish for thinking that I could’ve had you if I was faster… I’m such a terrible person, right? Even after you officially got together with Taeyong, it was so hard to feel happy for the both of you; despite the fact that you looked so happy with him, I always wondered how it would’ve been if it was me instead of Taeyong.”

“I always thought why it was so hard to get over you, and realised that it was probably because I never told you all of this. Do you know how misleading your actions can be sometimes? I thought that after you got together with Taeyong, you’d stop acting the way you are, but whenever we hang out you still treat me like you did during our college days, saying things that friends don’t normally say to each other, protecting me as if I was still getting b-” Jungwoo’s throat closed instinctively, the word causing a shiver to run down his spine.

“And after you leave me with high hopes and big expectations, all your boyfriend needs to do is to whistle and you’d go running over to him,” just the thought of it got Jungwoo’s blood boiling again. “Doesn’t it occur to you that he could be lying? That he’s making up excuses for you to go back to him because he doesn’t like me hanging out with you, and you believe him because you love him that much?”

Doyoung, who was still frozen in panic and had been remaining extremely still throughout the entire time, finally cracked out of his statue-like state, squinted his eyes and warned in a menacing tone, “ _ Kim Jungwoo. _ ”

Ignoring the shift in Doyoung’s mood, Jungwoo continued, “is it not true? He’s had his eye on me even before the two of you announced your relationship, what other reason could he be calling for you every single time we meet?” 

Doyoung took a step forward and it seemed like he wanted to say something, but Jungwoo beat him to it. “I… I’m tired of this, Doyoung. I can’t keep up with this anymore. I think… I need some time.”

With that, while Doyoung still stood there dumbfounded, his tongue twisted up in a hundred knots and his feet rooted to the ground, Jungwoo gave him one last glance before turning around and running away, letting the freezing wind dry the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

* * *

He didn’t stop running until he reached his apartment, which wasn’t really in walking distance from where he had parted with Doyoung, but with the terrible state he was in, Jungwoo would rather run across the width of Seoul than come in contact with another human.

“Oh, you’re back,” Taeil’s voice drifted from the bathroom, before he appeared in the living room, wiping his wet hair with a towel. “How did your meetup with Doyoung- holy shit.”

With his hair all messed up from the wind, dried tear tracks staining his cheeks and mucus running down his philtrum, Jungwoo took one look at Taeil’s worried expression and let out a helpless whimper. “ _ Hyung… _ ”

Taeil was quick to envelope him in a hug, before bringing a warm towel for him to clean his face. He waited until Jungwoo had calmed down before silently taking a seat beside him, letting him know that he could start talking whenever he was ready.

“I… blew my cover. I couldn’t keep it in anymore and just yelled everything at him,” Jungwoo admitted, the walls of regret slowly enclosing around him.

“As I thought,” Taeil sighed sympathetically, placing a hand on his knee. “Did you tell him everything? Your crush? Being soulmates with him?”

“I-I didn’t tell him about the soulmates part. I couldn’t do it. I don’t think I’ll ever tell him,” Jungwoo shook his head, burying his face in his palms. “That’s in the past. I didn’t regret what I did, and I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Alright, I’m sorry. Can you tell me what exactly you said to him?” 

Taeil listened intently as Jungwoo told him the whole story, waiting patiently even as he struggled to repeat some of the nasty things he said to Doyoung. After he was done, Taeil remained silent for several moments before offering his opinion.

“Listen to me, okay Jungwoo?” Taeil spoke gently. “What you did, telling Doyoung your feelings and what you didn’t like about his actions was not wrong. It’s completely valid and understandable. If anyone else were to be put in the same situation as you, they’d feel the same way too. You don’t need to feel bad about yelling at him.”

Jungwoo stayed quiet, the comforting words bouncing off his skull, having no effect on him. Knowing Taeil, he’d always start with the good side before addressing the bad.

“But Jungwoo, you have to understand that Doyoung literally had no idea about your feelings. He didn’t know he was hurting you unintentionally,” as expected, Taeil jumped sides in a blink of an eye. “I’m pretty sure you’ve more aware of this than me, but it’s in Doyoung’s blood to take care of all his friends like that. It’s his natural mother-like personality. It’s not your fault for developing feelings for him, but it’s not his fault for acting like that around you either.”

Jungwoo remembered Yuta’s words to him that morning.  _ If not for Doyoung, I probably wouldn’t even be here right now. _ Taeil was right.  _ How can I be angry at Doyoung for treating me the same way he treats everyone else? _

“Also, Taeyong wasn’t lying. He really wasn’t feeling well.”

Turning his neck to face Taeil, Jungwoo met gazes with him, a sign for him to elaborate.

“Sicheng and Yuta asked him to join us for dinner today, once we found out that Doyoung would be going out with you. He said he just wanted to go home because he didn’t feel too good,” Taeil explained, watching guilt spread over Jungwoo’s expression. “Jungwoo, Taeyong isn’t like what you think he is. If he had a problem with you, he would’ve talked it out with you long ago.”

“I think you should wait for your emotions to calm down, then go talk to Doyoung again,” Taeil gave him a concerned look before rising to his feet. “Your friendship with Doyoung might not be the same again, but it’s either that or breaking it off completely with him.”

As Taeil returned to the bathroom, Jungwoo lowered his head in dilemma, contemplating the advice that Taeil had given him. After all the accusations that he had hurled at Doyoung, would he forgive him? Would Doyoung still want to be his friend, now that he was aware of Jungwoo’s liking towards him? And even if he did, could they ever return to how they were before this mess?

“You might want to tell Yuta about this,” Taeil’s voice resounded from the bathroom. “Since he’ll be able to understand both your and Doyoung’s perspectives, he might give you better advice on what to do.”

At the mention of Yuta, another boulder of worry crashed onto Jungwoo. He remembered Yuta’s reaction when he first realised that it was _Jungwoo_ who was Doyoung’s soulmate- the same person who prevented his two best friends from officially dating each other. His exasperated, hurt and disbelieving expression seemed to be etched forever in Jungwoo’s mind. 

_ If I told Yuta that I took my frustration out on his best friend because of my selfish desires, what would be his reaction this time? _

“Go to sleep soon, Jungwoo, I’m sure you’re tired after a long day at work, right?” Taeil yawned as he emerged from the bathroom. Just as Jungwoo was about to voice his concern to him, Taeil continued, “I’m going to sleep first. Goodnight, Jungwoo.”

Left alone in the living room surrounded by dark clouds of destructive thoughts, Jungwoo sat there for a long time, contemplating his choices, trying to make up his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this chapter was delayed for so long, i was really busy with exams 😭😭 updates will unfortunately be quite irregular and slow since i'm starting work next week :( nonetheless i hope yall enjoyed this chapter!! more of jungwoo's past is slowly being revealed :D


End file.
